Special Edition: Seattle Trip #1 - Part 2

today started off even earlier than yesterday.. 645am to be exact! I rolled over this morning to check the time && my alarm went off just as I picked it up. literally. our appt was @ 8 so I wanted to give us plenty of time even though we were just a couple of blocks away. well, we ended up being there 1min early. go figure. I'm never on time for appts.. but my brother came && stayed w us lastnight so that we all could go to the appt together && be a lot less scrambling around. so we were rushing to the appt && before long I got winded but kept going because this was the most important appt I've ever had (including when I was diagnosed), in my opinion.

when we were greeted by the first lady, I was pretty nervous. I just kept thinking of a recent blog post from a fellow cyster of mine && her experience w pre-lung transplant nurses/dr's scolding her. this lady was kind of rude in my opinion && yeah she probably had a reason to (I forgot to bring a med list w me), but I still was freaking out on the inside just waiting for it to happen. it never did, the rest of the team were really nice which really eased some of my nerves. some.

they did a little more initial testing than I was lead to believe, which was good. to me atleast. the testing consisted of a 6min walking test, urine, sputum, && blood work (w a lot of viles). they wanted to draw from my port first off but I asked to do it from my arm. thank goodness I changed my mind, much much easier from the port. of course they weighed me, listened to my heart/chest, took my blood pressure/temperature, && looked inside of my mouth&&nose. I talked to 2 transplant dr's && a transplant coordinator. the coordinator is going to give me a check-list of tests that can be done in my city at home. once those are all done, I'll have to come back down to seattle to finish the ones that can only be done here. they made it sound like there isnt any red flags for me, so far, to prevent me from getting listed && hopefully it stays that way because I could use a break!

at one point when I was talking to the 2nd transplant dr, he asked me what I wanted out of this transplant. I felt about 5different pairs of eyes on me && got so nervous&&overwhelmed that I got really hot, flustered, && almost cried. I just couldnt articulate myself. && I didnt want them thinking that I was taking any of this lightly or that I wouldnt appreciate what a gift these lungs would be. I think I got my point across okay in the end though, which is the most important.

( Mazie - I want to steal her! )

after the appt, we dropped my brother off at his car then me && my mom went to see my grandma in tacoma. it had been almost a year since I saw her last && about 4ish years since I'd been to her house. we got to see her newish pup, catch up, && fill her in on my appt. my brother came by later so we all could spend time together.




we're leaving first thing in the morning && as much as I love coming over to the seattle area, I am ready to be back home! I was nauseous all day && had a tad bit of home-sickness, even though I was w family. that usually doesnt happen. maybe I just need to cuddle my mama tonight :)

( 4 generations )

good thoughts. good wishes. good vibes.

xx

I. do not. understand. ppl.

ALRIGHT. so lately there has been a theme in my life: morose. the only reason why it doesnt worry me is because I'm aware of it && am trying to identify its cause && therefor change it. I've just been so down these days && dont really know why. it usually only happens if I miss enough doses of my anti-depressants, but I've been taking all of em! my mom thinks its just my cf getting to my spirit. which I can see that, but its not like anything major or even big happened to put me in this mood. other than the obvious, that is.

along w my mood, a lot of ppl have been acting the same around me: rude. not family. not close friends. but nurses, yes. RT's, yes. ppl online, yes. && I'm pretty much 1 more rude person away from blowing UP. back in highschool, or just my past really, I would've kept quiet && keep to myself. but I'm different now. I speak up for myself. I defend myself when need-be. && most importantly, I stand up for others.

focusing solely on the rude ppl online.. I've had instances lately where ppl have called me an idiot for just voicing my opinion, ppl going out of their way just to bash something that is very close to my heart && that they dont agree w, && the most recent case of someone pretending to have the same lung disease I have all for attention.
I just dont understand where ppls minds/thoughts are at! like really, what in their minds is telling them that its okay to do the things that they are doing? && what is their justification? absolutely ridiculous.

&& speaking of standing up for ppl.. there are 2 subjects that are very close to my heart: self harm && gay equality/rights. always have been. I am neither a self harmer nor gay. but I've always had a sentimental heart towards both. && in honor of both, when I get out of here I want to get 2 tattoos: ; (on my left wrist) = (inside the palm of my right hand between my index && middle fingers)

 
speaking of getting outta here.. I am literally being kicked out of the hospital tomorrow, by my insurance. what is weird is that I was in for exactly 9days, just like last time. I guess I only get 9days in the hospital instead of 14 like usual. anyways, I'll have to finish my IV antibiotics at home. its so stupid because I only have 5days left! at least I'll be w my kitty && boyfriend again. I've missed them both so much :(




onto some GOOD NEWS! I have been contacted by the University of Washington's pre lung transplant team :) we've been playing some phone tag, but still. it makes this so real && scary. but I know it'll be worth it in the long run.

 
I've also been helping my mom, w her fundraising this yr, for my walk team "Natalie's Hope" via Great Strides. the most recent work I've done is a flyer. →
my next project is to make infinity scarves && sell em on Etsy or wherever. I have the technique down, just gotta find the motivation to finish ;)
I also want to look into making wristbands (like the I ❤ boobies/livestrong ones). so if anyone has any helpful info on those, I would really appreciate it!





good thoughts. good vibes. good wishes. && so it is.
xx