remember me?

for those of you who have read my blog before, or for who read it regularly (thankyou, btw), I am no longer sticking to the 'blogging every thursday' criteria. as you know, I've been getting bad w sticking to that due to me just plain forgetting.. so I will still update regularly, just not every thursday. && not even a specific day of the week anymore, just whenever my flittering heart feels the urge :)

what I've been up to....
-- got out of the hospital w only 1week of antibiotics under my belt
-- I have my primary care dr appt in 3days
-- finished my pap-smear
-- been doing okay on my new med doses (anxiety)
-- working on getting my bloodsugars down into the 100s && keeping them there
-- making myself eat

&& most importantly..

-- been allowing myself to leave my house for a couple hrs at a time && get out into the world again without a freakout!


• ..whats weird about my bloodsugars is that when they're like 200s/300 I feel sound. but when they drop into the 100s, I feel heavy&&shaky.. •

( Khaleesi, my faav! )

OMG. ohk so I've really been getting into Game of Thrones! I finally broke down && gave it a try since everyone else wouldnt stop raving about it. atleast I didnt start w anyone else ;) but anyways, I ended up downloading all 3seasons right away && I'm almost already thru w the first season. they're really short seasons btw, 10eps? really? are you serious?





my kitty has been acting really stubborn lately. my boyf thinks its because she's always trapped in our room && that she wants to venture out. but whenever I leave the door open, she just walks by it. she doesnt want to leave. even if she did, she cant go into the other bedroom (not allowed) && she's too scared to go downstairs so there's literally no where else for her to go. unless she just chills on the stairs, which she's done before. so she's been mad at me cuz I've been getting after her for splashing her water out of her bowl EVERYWHERE ELSE. this is 3x now here && at our old place, she used to just dig the water out w her paw onto the carpet. she acts out && we dont know why. well.. she did stop doing the digging of the water when she was accidentally let outside once. she got a taste && loved it. but I dont want her going outside til we atleast own her for a yr or so. so there's no confusion, of course.

oo! CF'rs, if havent already seen the 65_RedRoses documentary, its finalllly on NetFlix!

↓ check ittt ↓

quick confession: I dig +Miley Cyrus again.... kbye!

good wishes. good vibes. good thoughts. && so it is.
xx

going home :)

its officially spring now.. even though it looks like winter here. but I'm putting good vibes out into the universe && hoping for some happy return. ☀

so my doctor literally just left my room telling me that my insurance is really pushing for me to finish my IV antibiotics at home. so thats what the plan is. at first I was against it. I've been thru this once before && it resulted in a 5hr panic attack && my first trip to the hospital in an ambulance. not fun. && not something that I ever wanted to repeat. but my boyfriend && doctor have encouraged me into trying it again. && honestly, now I'm excited! I get to see my kitty (which I missed like crazy this week), sleep in my own bed next to my boyfriend, && just be in my own home. no more annoying nurses && screaming patients next door. weeeeee!

muh port, its about a month old && still tender at times. being in the hospital, it gets reaccessed once a week. just like a dressings change. so they did that today (perfect timing) && it went a lot better than the first time (I was a nervous wreck last week)! soo its been flushed once outside of the hospital && accessed twice. feels a little less painful each time, but all in all it still feels like they're poking my chest w a thumbtack. pain is just a part of the game ;)

my mom has really been pushing me to talk to my doctor about when exactly can I go down to seattle to get an evaluation done for possibly getting a double lung transplant. I brought it back up this visit && he said he was going to retalk to a nurse about it back at the clinic. but I still havent heard anything. I'll probably bring it up (again) tomorrow morning when they go over the at-home care for my port.
lastnight I watched the documentary called "65 redroses" about a girl named Eva w CF. it was about her journey to getting new lungs. it was really good, but it made me ball like a baby throughout pretty much the whole thing. lol. I truly recommend it to anyone watching, whether you have CF or not. its a real eye opener && just a small fraction of a look into the life of a CF'r.
for some perspective, this picture has been circulating around facebook/instagram the past couple of days via CF'rs. I've shown it to a couple of family members && its crazy to look at.

( I'm generally between 30-35% )

xx