Friday, August 16, 2013

new winds are blowin thru my life!

I woke up this morning && had to make a tough decision for me.. I decided to stay in the hospital && work on continuing to get better. so its a good thing, but hard nonetheless. I've never had reservations about going home before. yes, theres been times where I lied about how I felt just so I could go home. but I cannot afford to do that anymore. I had to be honest w myself && I was honestly scared. this morning I could just see new smoke over the hills && my mom told me that there was a new fire in idaho. yay.

this visit has been, without a doubt, the roughest for me. && that doesnt include my ICU stint, of course. things just keep piling on && not really getting better. I mean my lungs arent inflamed anymore (thanks to steroids), but they're still not as clear as they could be after being on IVs. my "tune-ups" just do not work like they used to.. && that scares me.

so glad I'm off steroids though.. I know they serve a purpose, but I dont particularly like them. they made me feel absolutely miserable the first few days && made my bloodsugars so high that I couldnt even eat. I ended em the other day && all of my insulin regimens are back to normal. bigger doses of insulin make me nervous && I never trust em....

omg! so I had to get reaccessed tonight && the guys hand freakin slipped && it yanked the needle out all wrong, sending me to a breakdown. I mean obviously he didnt mean to, but I requested someone else to finish the job. I was so pissed&&hurt.

I'm waiting on an RT to start my night treatment. && for my mama to get off work.
good wishes. good vibes. good thoughts. && so it is.

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