Thursday, March 21, 2013

going home :)

its officially spring now.. even though it looks like winter here. but I'm putting good vibes out into the universe && hoping for some happy return.

so my doctor literally just left my room telling me that my insurance is really pushing for me to finish my IV antibiotics at home. so thats what the plan is. at first I was against it. I've been thru this once before && it resulted in a 5hr panic attack && my first trip to the hospital in an ambulance. not fun. && not something that I ever wanted to repeat. but my boyfriend && doctor have encouraged me into trying it again. && honestly, now I'm excited! I get to see my kitty (which I missed like crazy this week), sleep in my own bed next to my boyfriend, && just be in my own home. no more annoying nurses && screaming patients next door. weeeeee!

muh port, its about a month old && still tender at times. being in the hospital, it gets reaccessed once a week. just like a dressings change. so they did that today (perfect timing) && it went a lot better than the first time (I was a nervous wreck last week)! soo its been flushed once outside of the hospital && accessed twice. feels a little less painful each time, but all in all it still feels like they're poking my chest w a thumbtack. pain is just a part of the game ;)

my mom has really been pushing me to talk to my doctor about when exactly can I go down to seattle to get an evaluation done for possibly getting a double lung transplant. I brought it back up this visit && he said he was going to retalk to a nurse about it back at the clinic. but I still havent heard anything. I'll probably bring it up (again) tomorrow morning when they go over the at-home care for my port.
lastnight I watched the documentary called "65 redroses" about a girl named Eva w CF. it was about her journey to getting new lungs. it was really good, but it made me ball like a baby throughout pretty much the whole thing. lol. I truly recommend it to anyone watching, whether you have CF or not. its a real eye opener && just a small fraction of a look into the life of a CF'r.
for some perspective, this picture has been circulating around facebook/instagram the past couple of days via CF'rs. I've shown it to a couple of family members && its crazy to look at.
( I'm generally between 30-35% )



  1. After reading your post, I watched the movie. It just ended. I too had tears rolling down my cheeks throughout. ... and then I watched this extended version of her goodbye post

    and I cried even more.

    I watched a loved one say goodbye, at the age of 26.... it was too young, and the most painful experience of my life, but beautiful as well... loving him and watching the love pour out of him and experiencing the love he had for me has forever changed me and has made me LOVE everyone in my life, old and new, friends, family and strangers in ways they dont and might never understand. LOVE truly is the magical gift in life.

    Natalie, you are an inspiration to me and a strong amazing BEAUTIFIC soul! Keep fighting! I am happy for you that you get to go home and that you are feeling less anxious about it :)

    Take care of you

  2. ah I watched the link after you posted && forgot about it. but yeah, it was really sad! I'm sorry you lost someone so close, must be tough. thankyouu for reading&&commenting. I appreciate it! wish I knew who you were though :)