Saturday, March 16, 2013

saturday session.

oops! I forgot to blog && its now saturday :/

well I'm back in the hospital after only being out for 1.5months. I know that sounds bad && trust me, I felt bad about coming in so soon. I felt as if I was letting everyone down. but heres the gist.. in reality, I'm just getting ahead of the curve. I came in just before I started feeling like I always do before I come in: completely weak, not even wanting to walk so my boyfriend carries me places, dont wanna drive, no appetite, breathing even more shallow, && blahblahblah. yes, I was starting to feel weak&&drained, losing my appetite, && the last couple of days before I came in my breathing was starting to feel more shallower. but I still wasnt as bad as usual. the biggest thing was that my weight only went down 1lb in that whole time frame! I was 109 at check-in && I was soo surprised. I mean I'm sure it fluctuated throughout the time, but it must've stayed within the general range. I was so happy though. I'm finallllllllllllllllllly putting on weight && its literally WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW. because me && my dr are looking into getting me to seattle to get evaluated to be put on a transplant list && my dr told me that the only problem we'd probably meet was my weight. since I'm finally putting on weight on my own, this couldnt have come at a more perfect time :)

BUT at my check-in, my dr checked my nose && said she thought I had a polyp. so she ordered a sinus xray && now they think I have sinusitis. she doesnt seem too worried about it && wants me to see a specialist when I get out. yet another thing && yet another dr. I honestly feel like every few yrs I'm diagnosed w something new. seriously. first w the cf, then mrsa, then anemia, then diabetes, then the arthritis, && now this. && its allllll a result from the cf!

on my first night here I developed an allergic reaction to an IV antibiotic that I've been on for about 4yrs now. the symptoms felt a lot like red mans, even though I havent been on vanco since they finally took that off my regimen after benedryl + pepcid werent doing the trick anymore. see I'm allergic to the inhaled tobi && I usually do fine on the IV version, tobramycin. but I must've just gotten immune to it over time. also, I got my port accessed for the very first time. I was a nervous wreck! but it went fine. && once the numbing stuff was in me, I hardly felt anything. just pressure. I'm so glad I decided to get the port. not having to get a picc line this time, really eased some nerves.
the things we have to go thru, gawd I hate cf....

butttttttt onto a lighter note. I've said it many times already ;) but I'll say it plenty more.. since I'm still new to opening up about my cystic fibrosis, everyday I ask myself why didnt I get involved sooner? anyways. blog, meet april. april, meet blog:

april is a cyster of mine that I've been getting close w lately, also the first. she's awesome! I'm starting to feel like I can share anything w her.
talking to fellow cf'rs really helps me. they honestly&&truly understand what I'm going thru.



  1. Love it and love you! <3

  2. I am literally in the same exact boat. I was discharged from the hospital about 4 weeks ago and came back a couple days ago. I wasn't as sick as I usually am when I come in, but I was still fairly sick. It's best to catch it before it gets worse and torture yourself. I actually posted something in my blog about how I will feel like absolute shit, but still won't take any initiative to go in the hospital or start IV's...I just need a break sometimes! I've literally been in the hospital every month for about the past year.
    I have a sinus surgery coming up soon. This will be my second one. I hope that you don't need one and I hope that your stay isn't too long!

    1. yeah I usually try to tough it out as much as possible when I'm home, but last time I did that I ended up in the ICU. I've also tried taking my IVs home, but my anxiety got the best of me so I dont even try anymore. I'm too paranoid to not be in a hospital w nurses&&dr's who will be there if something goes wrong. ya know? but thankyouu for reading! I really appreciate it :)

  3. P.S. I absolutely love the quote at the top of your page! I might write something about that in one of my posts :)

    1. its from the song "angels in waiting" by tammy cochran!