hospital // moods // appts.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I dont know why I forget so easily to blog! I knew I wasnt going to make the thursday deadline, so I was planning on doing it yesterday && wouldnt ya know it.. I forgot.. AGAIN.
ugh..


so the reason why I knew I wasnt going to make the thursday mark, was because I had planned&&worked all thursday on a video project for my YouTube channel. its one of those flashcard story vids telling my story w CF. its only a 6min video, but it took me all day w planning on what to say, how long to hold up each card, check to make sure the writing wouldnt turn out backwards (that took me way longer than necessary to find out..), choose the right themed music, etc. well I could tell you all about it, or I could just show you. so here it is!

~~~~

alright so I am currently in the hospital (boo) && my mood is turrrrrible! I am so irritable at EVERYTHING. I wish I could blame it on an IV med or a steroid, but its not. its just me && I hate it. maybe its just the nurses that are driving me nuts, but azsxdcfvghjbjklm....

but I do get out in 2days which is good! yet bad. I've only been in here 6days (on monday) out of 2weeks.. my insurance sucks. they kick me outta here when I'm "too healthy" to be in. its usually 9days of getting to be in here, but I came in just before my CF was getting bad. like I could feel it creepin in, so I didnt want to feel its full strength && thought I was doing something good by getting ahead of it this time.. I'll still continue the regimen at home, or Michael will actually, but still. I'd so rather just do it all here. less stress. less worry. less forgetfulness. I just dont understand how I'm "too healthy" when I'm trying to get a double lung transplant! so whats that supposed to even mean then?? me fev1 just before I got admitted was 32%, the lowest its ever been outside of the hospital. last time it was checked, it was 37%. doesnt sound like much of a difference (to a healthy person), but to me thats a lot! the highest I've ever seen for any of my pfts was 42%..

ugh && my hands are itching so bad right now that I want to rip my skin off!!!!

but enough w the negative, my sister&&niece stopped by lastnight to cheer me up since I've been irritable&&down lately. they brought me goodies n love. ♡
  

so a couple of days ago I got a call from the transplant coordinator, down in seattle, about my checklist for tests that I can do in my own town before I do the bigger ones back in seattle. I found out my bloodtype && was informed on a couple other tests that we hadnt gone over yet. but its okay, nothin major. there are about 9tests that I'll need to get gone here before returning to seattle. she told me the dentist appt would take the longest (mostly in wait time). I havent even been to the dentist in years so I'm reallyreallyreally not looking forward to it.... but I know its necessary && will be worth it in the long run. just gotta keep reminding myself of the end goal for all of these baby steps I'm taking.


NetFlix recommendations: 90210 && Bully.

good thoughts. good wishes. good vibes. && so it is.
xx